And the Guilt flew away
by Brightpath2
Summary: what happened when Jess Squirrel told the council that Matthias was dead? How did she feel? And what was her tremendous relief when she found out that the young mouse was alive? Read on to her my take, a small scene from the book Redwall . . .


**Hey! I decided to try my hand at Redwall fanfiction. This is one of two ideas I've had stuck in my since forever, and after recently reading Redwall again, I couldn't help it. **

**What happened to poor Jess Squirrel after watching Matthias fall from the Abbey roof? It was a sincere thought in my mind. I think it will stay a one-shot, and if not, it will be little "deleted" scenes from the books.**

**Well, I hope you all like it. :)**

**Disclaimer: Hurr aye, oi doan't own 'ee bukks. Maister Jacques does.**

_[excerpt pg. 232 Redwall, Brian Jacques]_

_Jess Squirrel clamped a paw across her mouth in horror. She heard the scream, and saw Matthias and Bull Sparra topple from the roof, locked together by the sword belt. They fell outwards into space from the topmost point of the Abbey roof._

Jess turned and ran as quickly as she could against the wind, back towards the safety of the Abbey grounds. She had to get help!

The instant her paws hit the ground she was telling creatures to spread out through the Abbey grounds, even sending Winifred and a couple of her otters to look in Mossflower.

Jess ran past Mr. Squirrel and Sam, ignoring them, praying that she wouldn't have to tell them what happened.

Had Matthias just died?

Jess ran towards the Great Hall, desperately trying to find the Abbot or Methuselah. They would know what to do.

She heard wails becoming louder as she got closer. Had they found Matthias? What was wrong?

When she arrived, she found Constance holding a limp, forlorn figure. Jess pressed a paw to her mouth. It was Methuselah. How was she supposed to tell them now?

Abbot Mortimer was sitting down, his spectacles off as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "This is a sad day for all of the Abbey. How can we have lost Methuselah?"

"Father Abbot, it was not your fault. Basil and I forgot to put a guard on that fox, and we didn't have Matthias here to remind us." Constance said gently.

She placed Methuselah gently on the ground and covered him with a table cloth that Cornflower handed her.

Abbot Mortimer looked up. "Jess. You look windblown. Are you alright?"

Jess shuddered. This was all her fault. When the sparrow told her Matthias would be on the roof, she hadn't remembered she was supposed to help Methuselah with the Tapestry.

"I . . . Father Abbot . . . Matthias . . ." She started Her throat was so dry. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes.

The Abbot stood, his face sad. "Is he back? I must tell him of his old friend."

"No Father . . . he isn't back." Jess choked. "A sparrow told me he would be on the roof this afternoon, so I went to help him down. He was calling to me Father. I didn't hear what he said, but the King Sparrow did. And . . . oh Father Abbot, he fell."

"No!" Cornflower dropped her tray of water she was holding, her paws flying to her mouth.

Constance swayed and sat down. Abbot Mortimer put his head in his hands. "Oh my . . ." The old mouse muttered.

"Matthias fell? That young chap? How could he fall?" Basil's shocked voice spoke from behind them.

Jess turned, allowing a tears to fall. "The king of the sparrows attacked him Basil. You've seen how windy it is; he didn't have enough room, or good enough balance to keep himself safe."

The hare groaned. Jess felt her shoulders fall. Matthias was one of the ones who still had enough drive to fuel the fight against Cluny. He and Methuselah had been working on a way to beat the rat.

And now neither of them were alive.

Jess could see Silent Sam and her husband coming towards them. She took a deep breath, bracing herself.

And she walked towards them.

~~O~~

Jess sat, head in her paws. It was her fault. If only she had been quicker, then she could have been on the roof and saved Matthias.

Mr. Squirrel had taken poor Sam and was putting him to bed. Jess knew that her son completely idolized Matthias.

None of the search parties had found his body, or the body of the sparrow.

"Jess, it's no fault of yours. There was not a thing that you could have done, my friend. The fall was so great that no creature could have survived it. Tomorrow we will search again, then we must bury my old companion, Methuselah. Poor mouse, he never did anything to deserve such a cruel fate."

Jess couldn't helped but agree. Neither Matthias, or Methuselah deserved death.

The Abbot pointed to the tapestry, shaking his head. "See, my old gatehouse-keeper's last good work. He restored Martin to his place of honor. Methuselah was the gentlest mouse I ever knew. Oh what a tragic waste of two lives: one who spent his years in search of knowledge, the other cut down before his tree of you had a chance to blossom!"

Jess looked up as Cornflower spoke. The poor mousemaid was dry-eyed and pale. It looked like her paws were frozen stiff.

"Father Abbot, the loss of Matthias's life was not a waste. It was a tremendous act of bravery and self-sacrifice. He died trying to aid Redwall and all of us in the struggle against the forces of evil, as did his friend Methuselah. I am sure that this is the way they would wish to be remembered in our hearts, as warriors and heroes."

Jess joined into the mutter of approval. Cornflower was right of course. The two mice would want to be remembered as warriors.

Constance was staring into the difference, clenching her paws, her eyes moist and angry.

Brother Alf rose. "You'd best get some sleep Constance."

The badger stood and rubbed her eyes. "No thank you, Brother. I couldn't sleep a wink at a time like this. You know how it is."

Jess stood. She faintly felt herself want to speak, to agree, but she felt so guilty.

It was still her fault.

Brother Alf sighed. "Come with me then. I've got work to do. There's all the fishing nets to be laid for the night. Perhaps you'd like to come along and help me?"

The two of them walked off. Jess hesitated, before following at a distance.

She could faintly hear them talking of a fish that Alf and Matthias had caught for a feast once. It didn't help her feel any better.

She stopped by the pond. staring out at the water. Until she faintly heard Alf's call. "Constance, look! Down here! There's a sparrow!"

Immediately Jess ran around, hearing Constance tell Brother Alf to get some lanterns and help.

She glanced at the sparrow. It was the king sparrow. Matthias was somewhere in there. Jess watched anxiously as the sparrows rescued Matthias, and felt herself melt in relief when the Abbot declared the young mouse to be alive.

And then her guilt flew away.

**well, I hope someone likes it. :) REVIEW! And tell me whether or not you want me to make it "deleted" scenes from the books. I will take requests if this is so.**


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